In running, it's really unusual for everything to perfectly fall into place on race day. Getting to the start line healthy is hard enough, never mind how your training block goes leading up to the race. Even if those pieces both align, on the day itself there are myriad factors that are out of your control that can throw a wrench into even the best-laid race plans: weather can be awful, trails can be in rough shape, your stomach or legs or mind can rebel on you.
The Squamish 50 this year was that rare ... dare I say, unicorn of races for me. I had my perfect day, and I am honestly still trying to process everything that happened.
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| Shocked about the race result, and also the height to which that cork reached. Photo: Hilary Matheson |
For 3 years I have said (quietly, and only to Brendan and a couple close friends) that if I had the perfect race I was sure I could run 6:15 on the Squamish 50k course. I've experienced so many setbacks training for this race over the last 6 years, but in the 4 years I have managed to run it, I've improved my finish time each attempt by quite a large margin (from 7:12 in 2014 to 6:55 in 2015 to 6:36 in 2018). That progression is due to a combination of factors: gaining trail running experience, honing my skills running over technical terrain, building stamina and strength for all the climbing, descending, and long hours on my feet, and gradually increasing my confidence racing the 50k distance. Over the last 2 years, I've had the most consistent stint of running that I have ever had. I came into Sunday's 50k having run over 2000 km and climbed over 75,000 m so far in 2019. I had a smooth and targeted training block, peaking with fairly low mileage (~85k/week), but running some really encouraging workouts. I knew that my fitness and speed was there this year, and I went into the race excited yet calm about the day ahead.
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| At the start. Photo: Brendan Hunt |
On Saturday night, Brendan gave me two pieces of advice: to (a) run a consistent effort all day, and (b) just run my own race and not worry about what anyone else was doing around me - and this is exactly what I did. The start line was a new one this year, moved down to the bottom of Alice Lake Rd so that we had about a mile to run before funnelling into the trail (it also adds on 1 km to the total race distance from prior years). I loved this new start line - the longer road section with a sizeable hill right off the bat managed to spread the field out so much that by the time we hit the traihead I found myself running with just Hailey, as if we were on a regular Sunday run together. It was absolutely perfect, and made for such a relaxing way to start the day. I settled into a comfortable, strong pace, right away realizing that I was feeling really, really good.
By the time I reached the first aid station at the Corners, I had already almost made up the time from that extra km (my goal had been to even it out by the Quest aid station, meaning I would come in there at the same time as I did last year). I was slightly worried that I had started too fast, but mentally checked in with my effort and knew that it was sustainable. I ran through the aid station without stopping and was soon running with Brydhi along Northside Connector and into Galactic, the first major ascent of the day (about 650 m of climbing over 5 km). I started up and, feeling strong, pulled into the lead and chugged a steady pace up the hill, surprising myself with how quickly I reached the top. Danielle, a powerhouse downhill runner, caught up to me at the bottom of IMBA Smart and we chatted a little and ran together down Fred until she stopped at the Word of Mouth aid station because she was out of water. At about 18k into the race, I took the lead and held onto it for the rest of the day.
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| Dancing down Fred with Danielle. Photo: Brian McCurdy |
I came into Quest right on schedule with 2:52 elapsed, grinning like a maniac at the hoopla from what seemed like my own personal cheering section. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Tory, Katie, Hilary, Brendan, and my mom all taking photos as I ran up the stairs. Kelly is the best crew in the world - we did a super quick bottle exchange and I was on my way again in what Brendan said was about 30 seconds. I wanted to get out of there before any of the women behind me could see me and give chase. I later found out that Brydhi and Danielle came in together, only about 2 minutes back.
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| Running into the Quest Aid Station in the lead, at 24k into the race. Photo: Brendan Hunt |
I set out for the Legacy Climb trail, which has previously been my nemesis in this race (even though I run it all the time in training, and absolutely love it). My friends Starr and Corey and their kids surprised me on the road cheering at a somewhat random spot, which gave me such a boost as I headed ever upward from Quest. I ran by far my fastest time up the 6.5k long Climb that I've done in the race, and I owe that (and all my other uphills on Sunday) up to this: I put it in my mind that climbing was my strength. For the last few years, I have felt like my uphills have been terrible in races, and to compensate I have just sprinted downhill as fast as I could to try to make up time. I have made it a point this year in my training to work on my uphill, and it has paid off for sure - but even more important, I think, was my mindset about it. Having the confidence to run the climbs stronger meant that I could take advantage of the downhills as recovery, instead of frantically running down them with my heart racing. I still ran them fast, but not as recklessly as I have been known to do. The result of this strategy was that I had tons of energy for the more runnable, rolling trails and road sections, and I felt like I got into an incredible flow state every time I was on one of those parts of the course, floating fairly effortlessly over the trail.
It was such foreign territory for me to be leading the women's race, and many people afterward asked me if I was "running scared". It really didn't feel like that at all, though. I was honestly just running exactly how I wanted to run, according to how I was feeling, and didn't give much thought to what was happening behind me. I've never had a race before where I was so easily able to focus purely on the present moment: every time my mind wandered to the familiar thoughts of "how far do I have to go", etc., I shut that thought down and told myself to just think about the kilometre I was in. I had no low points all day, and every time I started to feel a little tired I thought of my friend Jenny, running (as it turned out, really closely) behind me in her second race of the weekend, after already having run a blazing fast 50 miles the day before. I knew she would be smiling, and that made me smile - which always makes you feel better (it's true - ask science).
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| Reaching Farside Aid Station - only 11k to go from here. Photo: Hilary Matheson |
I rolled up the road into the final aid station at Farside still having no real concept of how much of a lead I had. Another quick exchange with Kelly - this time I dropped my whole vest with her and picked up just a handheld bottle with water, which was AMAZING. It felt so freeing to run without the vest after 5 hours that I felt like I was practically sprinting up the trail. (I am quite sure I was not, however, sprinting). I was definitely tiring in that last 11k but kept up that same steady effort, popping out of the trail at the bottom of the Smoke Bluffs stairs with 6:02 elapsed.
And then, for the first time all day, I felt it. I felt the enormity of the potential of winning this race - THIS, my favourite race in the world that has more meaning to me than any other - and yes, started to run a tiny bit scared. I reached the parking lot and must have looked over my shoulder 4 times on that final 2k road stretch, and it wasn't until I crossed the road to the sight of orange cones leading into the park that I breathed a sigh of relief and let myself soak up that moment.
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| Commence the celebration. Photo: Hilary Matheson |
And What. A. Moment! Crossing the finish line was a complete blur: Gary announcing my name as the winner; Brendan and my mom hugging me; Kelly, Tory, Hilary, and Katie all screaming, at least half of us crying, and so many friends and extended trail family cheering. It was overwhelming and incredible and I will re-live that moment for a long, long time. And as if it couldn't get any better - 15 minutes later Hailey came sprinting across the line in second, with Jenny right behind her! It was quite the gong show spectacle of us all hugging and crying and essentially losing our minds. I seriously felt like I was going to explode from happiness, and I am still riding that high.
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| That finish line feeling. Photo: Sasha Brown |
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| The moment after Hailey and Jenny crossed the line. Photo: Hilary Matheson |
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| Jenny, me, Hailey: Training friends and the women's 50k podium. Photo: Hilary Matheson |
My unicorn race. That one perfect day, when everything came together and I somehow felt no pain and only joy and flow. I finally ran my 6:15. I ran my 6:15 on a course that was a kilometre longer than when I was sure that 6:15 was my perfect time. Does that mean I can go even faster? Maybe! Who knows what we can do, when we set our minds to something. When we decide to tell ourselves that we can do it, that hills are our strength, that all we need to do is smile. Look at Hailey, who set a goal for herself of reaching the podium in this race, and did it on her 5th attempt. Look at Jenny, who believed that she could break the course record in the 50/50, and not only did, but smashed it and landed on the podium on BOTH DAYS. I'm turning 45 this year and I just won my first ultra marathon. There are countless stories like this that come out of these races, which is one of the reasons I love them.
We are all so much stronger than we think - and if we work hard and choose happiness and pay attention and surround ourselves with people who constantly lift us up, running gives us the gift of realizing that strength, over and over again. How amazing is that?
SQ50k 2019 - 6:15:41 - F1 - 14th Overall
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| Family. Photo: Tory Scholz (who is also family). |
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